Funny thing… I started looking for decisions to make and couldn’t find any. I got a little bit bummed about this. How was I supposed to live from my heart if I couldn’t find any decisions to make? THEN, I caught myself with the ‘blinders’ on. Here I was sitting down with my daughter supervising homework and realized that I could decide not to loose my cool and get snappy but be patient and supportive. Then I realized I could decide to spend an extra few minutes ‘stretching’ with the girls (their new favourite pastime). Then i decided to not leave the dishes until the morning. I decided to change my attitude and suddenly things were not so hard.
I decided this morning to volunteer next week at school even though it meant rearranging my schedule. No anxiety about it, it made me feel good to be around K at school and thats what I was going to do. It turns out rearranging your schedule isn’t always that hard. I made a bigger deal about it that it was, creature of habit I suppose. I also decided not to have anxiety about a meeting I have this afternoon but dive into it, fully present and go through it. Then I could have dinner with a friend I haven’t caught up with in a bit. I can’t wait to see what my internal voice is saying through the meeting. A nice glass of wine over dinner will be a great way to unwind.
Needless to say, I haven’t made any life altering decisions, but practise is key here. There is fear involved, an unsureness that usually carries a lot of weight when making any type of decision. I’m happy to be practising the small stuff before anything like that comes up.
So far so good.